Comparison is something I think we're all guilty of, but it's also one of the most toxic and unproductive things we can do especially when it leads us to a place of self-doubt and negativity. I've been asked the question of "How do you not compare yourself to others" so much lately, and so I wanted to share a few thoughts about it and ways that I turn comparison into a positive thing.
It's so easy for comparison to creep in especially during those off-days or periods when you're feeling a little vulnerable. There have been times when I've been working on the most amazing campaigns with some of my dream partners doing what I love, and i've seen something online that's made me instantly forget about my achievements and feel like what I'm doing still isn't good enough. It's ridiculous, I know, and I think it's something that really needs to happen less, for our wellbeing and for our self-esteem.
I've gotten pretty good at talking myself around if ever I feel like that or doubt myself, but there was a time at University many years ago when I wasn't so positive and seeing other people achieve these great things when I wasn't really got me down. I felt stuck and envious and unhappy, and it took me a while to realise that comparing myself and feeling envious of other people's achievements is never going to get me closer to where I wanted to be.
I realised that if I'm unhappy, that's because of me and no one else and it's my responsibility to change it. I decided that rather than letting other people's amazing achievements get me down, I should use it as inspiration to excel myself and strive to accomplish something just as great. That mindset has stuck with me ever since that day, and that's always the thing I tell myself whenever I feel a pang of comparison or when negativity starts to creep in.
It's sometimes hard not to compare ourselves especially when so much of our lives are online and on full display. It's so easy to sit there and compare yourself to your peers or those you see on social media, and compare your job, your travels, your relationship, your financial status, how many fancy handbags you own or how many followers you have. But really, the grass is never greener and you never ever truly know what someone is going through.
People will always be more vocal about their highlights rather than their hard times. That's one reason why i'll always try to share both sides of my life with you guys, because nobody in this world has it good 100% of the time even if it seems like they do. The reality is that you'll always want what someone else has, but equally other people will always want what you have too. You just have to be grateful and recognize your accomplishments and the amazing things in your life, rather than focusing on what you're lacking and what you don't have. Focus on doing you, making your goals happen, and being the best YOU can be.
Ultimately, if we want to achieve all of those big amazing dreams, we need to stop negatively comparing ourselves to others and instead, use that energy in a good way. My spin instructor the other day shared a great phrase - "Inhale Gratitude. Exhale a Negative Attitude" - and it's one that I can't get out of my head and I think it's spot on.
Be grateful for what you have. Be proud of what you've accomplished so far. Lift others up around you and praise them for their successes, and use other people's accomplishments as inspiration to get to where you want to be. If you don't believe in you, then no one else will. Don't ever let comparison get you down, and remember, with a little self-belief you will be limitless.
Never compare your life to someone else's. There is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it's their time.
If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Your story is so unique so it's not something you can ever compare to someone else.
Admire someone else's beauty without questioning your own. You are amazing as you are.
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Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle.
Is comparison something you guys ever struggle with and if so, what do you do to talk yourself out of negative thinking? I'd love to hear your thoughts and any quotes that inspire you!
4 Comments
Absolutely correct. “There is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.”
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Definitely!! I love that quote 🙂
Very much encouraging. “If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Your story is so unique so it’s not something you can ever compare to someone else.” this is my favourite so far. Thanks to your inspiring thoughts. I appreciate it so much. Every woman must know this.
I think you’re spot-on with the responsibility comments, in terms of owning the good & the bad. So love this quote too: ” There is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.”